Self-confident persons are not afraid to be themselves. The key is: they know who they are. They understand their purpose, and their gifts. They know that there are certain things only they can contribute to this world, at this time, in this place. They know that there is only one them, and One You. How can you let this One You shine through? Here are our 10 tips.
1. Hear what your true self is whispering to you
Your true self is whispering to you. Can you hear it?
“Knowing yourself is the beginning of all wisdom.” Aristotle
Powerful words that still hold true today.
No guru, life coach, therapist, religious leader, teacher, your mother, father, Oprah or Tony Robbins can tell you what you already know inside.
Ask your higher self, “Am I being true to myself?” If not, don’t do it. Stop lying to yourself. Just be yourself.
“Let the world know you as you are, not as you think you should be, because sooner or later, if you are posing, you will forget the pose, and then where are you?” Fanny Brice
The only thing which matters is what YOU want to do with this one precious life, what you want to become.
For most of us, the choice to be honest about ourselves can mean exposure, and possibly even being hurt. Who wants to admit that we’re in love with our oldest friend or, sacrilege, that we dream about writing poems instead of becoming a partner at the law firm or managing director in the investment bank?
But, however afraid we are, says Brené Brown, PhD, the author of Daring Greatly, “The question that we must ultimately answer is this: What’s the greater risk? Letting go of what people think, or letting go of how I feel and what I believe and who I am?”
“Everybody is a genius. But if you judge a fish by its ability to climb a tree, it will live its whole life believing it is stupid.” Albert Einstein
I love this quote and how it embraces the idea that everyone has their own talents. We live in a world where we mainly look for “book smarts” – but there are so many other types of intelligence: creative and musical, manual, physical, interpersonal, linguistic, intrapersonal, numerical, visual, and many more. Let’s embrace the differences between us, rather than trying to succeed in a similar area. Nurture what makes you unique, it is what keeps the world interesting (and makes you special!).
“We must never be afraid to be a sign of contradiction for the world.” Mother Teresa
It is only once you’re in touch with the true essence of your own inner self that you’ll be operating from a place from which you can uniquely solve life’s problems and make good decisions, feel connected to and supported by universal forces greater than you, and then use that to confidently create the life you were truly meant to lead.
“Do not become a stranger to yourself by blending in with everyone else.” Dodinsky
Live for yourself. Don’t try to live someone else’s life or wait for exterior approval. You play a unique role in the universe that no one else can play. Your spiritual path is also unique, and that is why your success will be different from anyone else’s. Uniqueness is knowing your inner truth and your intrinsic worth. It is knowing your real self, and when you do, it will be your internal compass to guide you to your true success. It’s not about fitting in. It’s about standing out.
“The only unique contribution you can offer the world is to be who you actually are and no one else.” Ashly Lorenzana
2. Trust your inner voice
“The intuitive mind is a sacred gift and the rational mind is a faithful servant. We have created a society that honors the servant and has forgotten the gift.” Albert Einstein
Trust your intuition. Your gut feeling is the best compass in life to navigate to your true north. There is not reason not to follow your heart and be you.
“Believe nothing no matter where you read it, or who said it, no matter if I have said it, unless it agrees with your own reason and common sense.” Buddha
While she occasionally feels uncertain or seeks the counsel those she respects, the confident person will carefully consider all the information at her disposal, and then turn to that little voice inside of her.
“Come from the heart, the true heart, not the head. When in doubt, choose the heart. This does not mean to deny your own experiences and that which you have empirically learned through the years. It means to trust your Self to integrate intuition and experience. There is a balance, a harmony to be nurtured, between the head and the heart. When the intuition rings clear and true, loving impulses are favored.” Brian L. Weiss
You don’t need anything from anyone. Everything you need is already within you. So ask all from yourself. Expect more from yourself and less from others.
3. Don’t live as a result of other people’s thinking or expectations
Don’t live as a result of other people’s thinking. Don’t let other people opinions overshadow your inner voice.
Don’t dismiss everyone else’s opinions, but don’t always accept them either. No one else needs to understand what we want or where we are going because no two people are on the same path in this life. The more you believe in your own decisions, the less you need others to. Go out and live the life you dreamed of.
“Don’t let the noise of others opinions drown out your own inner voice.” Steve Jobs
How many times did you allow others opinions of you to keep you from being the person you deep down inside know you should be?
How many times did you allow others opinions of you distract you from your own path in life?
“Conforming happens so naturally that we can forget how powerful it is. But the thing that makes us human are those times we listen to the whispers of our soul and allow ourselves to be pulled in another direction.” Evan Spiegel, co-founder of Snapchat.
Follow your own rules. Don’t accept conventional wisdom, take risks, ask why not, do a lot of research, get great people around you that are not yes people, and move on.
The creativity, productivity and pace of innovation in Silicon Valley rely on brilliant and foolish entrepreneurs being unreasonable enough to believe they can be the exception to the “rule.”
Often, visionary are first criticized before they become admired. Remember that song from Kanye West, Life of Pablo, where he says “They call every genius crazy”?
As George Bernard Shaw said, “all progress depends on the unreasonable man.” If everyone played it safe, we wouldn’t get anywhere.
“Do not let another day go by where your dedication to other people’s opinions is greater than your dedication to your own emotions!” Steve Maraboli
Often we are looking for other people’s approval not because it is something we truly need to move forward, but because we fear failure and hope that we could hear someone assure us that everything will be all right.
When we embark on a journey, our mind naturally wants to know all the details ahead of time. Where exactly are we going and how long will it take? Will we be safe and comfortable and enjoy ourselves? Life’s uncertainty can feel unsettling and even threatening at times, but it’s also the source of your greatest joy. In reality, there are no safe paths. You cannot buy traveller’s insurance for your life’s journey, nor can you be sure of our destination. By opening yourselves to uncertainty, even if just a little bit at a time, you release your self-imposed limitations, allow yourselves to be the One You, and your One Life and spiritual journey to unfold wonderful and fulfilling ways beyond your wildest imagination and dreams.
Find the courage to act despite the fears listening to your inner cheerleader and practicing positive visualization. Don’t fear mistakes and failures, you will grow through what you go through in life.
Evan Carmichael – Curated videos on 50 Rules for success, featuring Hill, Winfrey, Jay Z, Jackie Chan, Beyonce … and stressing the importance of being you!
4. Accept responsibility for your actions
“Everything in the universe is within you. Ask all from yourself.” Rumi
You may have friends, family members and all kind of people from whom your mind will tell you to expect things like love, happiness, approval, validation of your decisions and choices, and others. But even though it would be nice to get all those things from them, you have to keep in mind that you and only you are in control of your life.
“Don’t go around saying the world owes you a living. The world owes you nothing. It was here first.” Mark Twain
This is your life. Take responsibility for it. When you take responsibility for your life, doors open and you’ll be able to live out the dream of your life.
“No one saves us but ourselves. No one can and no one may. We ourselves must walk the path.” Buddha
YOU are in control of your life. If you are searching for that one person that will change your life, just look in the mirror.
Make things happen now. There’s no control over the past but there is control over the present, which leads to control of the future.
“The possibilities are numerous once we decide to act and not react.” George Bernard Shaw
You are powerful beyond measure, and nobody, no matter how close and important they might be to you, is responsible for your own life, health, happiness and well-being. If you want things to get better, it’s your responsibility to make them better.
5. Don’t take what people think of you personally
“What people in the world think of you is really none of your business.” Martha Graham
Everyone is living out their own story. Start focusing on the story of YOUR life.
“Great minds discuss ideas; average minds discuss events; small minds discuss people.” Eleanor Roosevelt
This is such a true pearl of wisdom. It’s the small minds who are concerned with what other people are doing. When you’re busy living and loving your life, you have little or no time left to talk about what other people are doing. And if somebody is concerned with who you are and how you are living your life, it’s only because they don’t have anything better to do with their time.
Their opinion of you comes from a place of insecurity. The people who are concerned with what others are doing, are usually insecure people who haven’t yet found a way to embrace with grace all that life created them to be. How other people see you is mostly a reflection of who they themselves are.
Others opinions of you should never be more important than your opinion of yourself.
“Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don’t matter and those who matter don’t mind.” Dr. Seuss
We live a world full of people. A world where, no matter what you say or do, and no matter how kind and loving you are, there will always be some people that have a problem with you. There will always be some people that will have all kind of colorful names and labels to place on you. But if are conscious and aware, and if you live your life from a place of truth, love and integrity, you will know how not to take things personally.
“Shine with all you have. When someone tries to blow you out, just take their oxygen and burn brighter.” Katelyn S. Irons
So walk in truth. Live with integrity. Go where your soul needs you to go. Dare to become all that life created you to be.
“Great spirits have always encountered violent opposition from mediocre minds. The mediocre mind is incapable of understanding the man who refuses to bow blindly to conventional prejudices and chooses instead to express his opinions courageously and honestly.” Albert Einstein
Never allow this mad world to make you think that who you are is not enough and that you have to whittle yourself away just so that you can fit in. Always be yourself. A first rate version of yourself, not a cheap version of everyone else. Because remember, an original is worth a LOT more than copy. So have the courage to be yourself. Stand out. Be an original. Don’t try to be better, be different, be more of the One You.
6. Be clear and confident about your Purpose and what makes the One You
“To be an individual is the greatest courage. It does not matter that the whole world is against me. What matters is that my experience is valid. Don’t die before realizing your authentic self.” Osho
Who are you? What traits do you truly like about yourself? What do other people love about you? To find out you need to first get totally brutally honest with yourself.
“If you are always trying to be normal, you will never know how amazing you can be.” Maya Angelou
Write down five qualities you like about yourself. Then write down one quality you want to improve. In doing so you’ll gain the clarity you need to build more confidence.
For more tips, also refer to One Life & You article on the 14 secrets of exceptionally likeable and charismatic people. Number 2, in having a strong purpose, and number 3, on being clear about your personal brand, are powerful tools to let the unique you stand out.
According to the Japanese, everyone has an “ikigai”, what we call a “raison d’être” in French.
In Japanese, “ikigai” is written as 生き甲斐, combining 生き, which means “life,” with 甲斐, which means “to be worthwhile.” 甲斐 can be broken down into the characters 甲, which means “armor,” “number one” and “to be the first” (to head into battle, taking initiative as a leader), and 斐, which means “beautiful” or “elegant.”
Our ikigai is hidden deep inside each of us. In the culture of Okinawa, ikigai is thought of as “a reason to get up in the morning”, that is, a reason to enjoy life. In a TED Talk “How to live to be 100+”, Dan Buettner suggested ikigai as one of the reasons people in the area had such long lives.
Having a clearly defined ikigai brings satisfaction, happiness and meaning to our lives. One surprising thing in Japan, is how active people remain after they retire. In fact, many Japanese people never really retire: they keep doing what they love for as long as their health allows. Having a purpose in life is so important in Japanese culture that our idea of retirement simply doesn’t exist there.
5 excellent Ted Talks to help you understand your inner potential
These talks can help you examine and identify the unique passions and perspectives that make you, you.
5 Rules to Follow as You Find Your Spark by Simon Sinek
In this great video, author, optimist & TED celebrity, Simon Sinek, gives us 5 rules to follow as you find our spark and purpose!
Once you get clear on who you are, you’ll find confidence follows to go after what you want.
“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, ‘Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous?’ Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won’t feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It’s not just in some of us; it’s in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.” Marianne Williamson, A Return to Love
Practice the art of living purposefully. It is our goals and our true life purpose that lead us forward, that energize our existence and enable us to leverage our uniqueness.
Don’t push for a purpose; find your pull, the thing you are irresistibly attracted to and can’t stop to think about.
God has put you on earth for a reason, with a gift, and everything on earth serves a purpose
Your true purpose and passion should feel like breathing.
Whether your goals are raising fulfilled children, getting a work promotion, starting a new business,
solving a scientific problem, building a vacation home, sustaining a happy romantic relationship, improving your fitness journey, loosing weight or anything else…
The only thing which matters is what YOU want to do of this one precious life, what you want to become.
Ultimately, each of us has a special talent to offer the world. It is up to us to find the treasures hidden inside of us and use them as a positive force to bring light, happiness and love into the world. Our circumstances and experiences serve as launching pads to assist in motivating us to find our purpose and journey. Live your life in love with every moment and allow the magic of the universe to materialize into your experience.
“It was only until I started to be myself that the music started to flow and people started to listen.” British singer Sam Smith
These words from Sam Smith, at the 57th annual Grammy Awards ceremony where he won 4 awards,are so powerful.
Of the 7 billion people on our planet, there is no one just like you.
No one with the same set of strengths, same insights, same skills, same hard-won wisdom, same aspirations, same passion or persona.
Embrace fully what the One You is, blossom, shine, live, light yourself on fire with passion and people will come from miles to watch you burn.
“So you were born to feel “nice”? Instead of doing things and experiencing them? Don’t you see the plants, the birds, the ants and spiders and bees going about their individual tasks, putting the world in order, as best they can? And you’re not willing to do your job as a human being? Why aren’t you running to do what your nature demands? You don’t love yourself enough. Or you’d love your nature too, and what it demands of you.” Marc-Aurelius, Meditation
Follow your bliss and walk the journey of life to the rhythm of your own tune, song after song, and have fun discovering the entire album without postponing singing these songs you are meant to sing!
7. Stop the “I’m not good enough!” and don’t allow comparison to steal your joy
“The reason we struggle with insecurity is because we compare our behind-the-scenes with everyone else’s highlight reel” Steve Furtick
Are you frequently comparing yourself? Images you see on TV? The woman next to you at the gym? That beautiful girl on Instagram who seems to have a perfect life, with an ideal body and traveling around the world?
Focus on you and be in life instead of comparing it and constantly capturing it for Facebook, Instagram, or Twitter.
“Comparison is the thief of joy”. Theodore Roosevelt
Life greatest heartbreak is self-betrayal: be true to who you are, everyone else is already taken. Don’t compare yourself or your achievements to others. Only compare yourself to the person you were yesterday. There is only one you, and the universe made you perfectly for whatever purpose you are meant to fulfil. Don’t try to be better, aim to be more of you instead. It is our differences and the pace of our respective chapter that make us unique and beautiful. Focus on your own journey to leave unforgettable footprints behind. Be busy watering your own grass to focus on blossoming, rather than trying to check if other’s is greener. Think about what makes you special and who you are, how you can bring your own unique strengths, perspectives, and skills to the world. Enjoy the ride and the joy of your own life.
“Yesterday I was clever, so I wanted to change the world. Today I am wise, so I am changing myself.” Rumi
YOU are responsible for allowing your self to feel not good enough.
Your thoughts create your world, and you can absolutely take charge of them.
It’s impossible to overstate the importance of paying attention to what stories you’re telling yourself and learning how to change those stories into ones that best serve you.
Yes, you can spend your life repeating “I’m not good enough” over and over, but why? You can write a new script.
Try telling your story a new way. You are the author or your own life book. Until the final sentence has been written, there’s still time to change the story.
The laws of attraction say that when we think positive, positive things will happen. When we think of success, we attract success. By constantly envying what others have, and thinking we don’t have enough, we will have less Envy is a useless emotion. It serves no purpose other than to make you wish you were something you are not.
The world is nothing but a projection of who we ourselves are. If we change our thoughts, our beliefs, our attitudes and our perceptions, the world around us will change as well. It’s magic.
8. Know how to say no
“Every day the world will drag you by the hand, yelling this is important! Each day it is up to you to yank your hand back, put it on your heart and say – No this is what is important” Iain Tomas
In our demanding and fast-paced lives, it sometimes seems that having time for oneself is a far-fetched dream. Yet, it is critical to know your limits and your need for self care. In order to accomplish all that you want to achieve and to give to others, you need to have adequate energy reserves from which to draw. And for this, you need to know when to pause and put your own oxygen mask first, and to determine what is a priority or a non-urgent request from the world.
“Focusing is about saying no” Steve Jobs
Escape the trap of “shoulds” and focus on what you want to do and what matters to you. You will feel much more in touch with your true selves and will be able to let the One You shine at its best.
“Daring to set boundaries is about having the courage to love ourselves, even when we risk disappointing others.” Brene Brown
9. Don’t be afraid to show your vulnerability and be flaw-some
“I don’t know a perfect person. I only know flawed people who are still worth loving.” John Green
Be flawsome means own your flaws or they will own you. One of the most powerful things you can do for yourself is own your flaws. Don’t hide them and pretend they don’t exist. Accept them. This gives you a better opportunity to improve on these flaws.
“Vulnerability is our most accurate measurement of courage. […] Vulnerability is the birthplace of innovation, creativity, and change.” Brené Brown
Acceptance is the core of confidence. You’re most confident when you’re completely comfortable with who you are, including your flaws.
Accept who you are, where you’ve been, your scars, your wounds, your darkness, your fears, your imperfections and all your insecurities.
Your flaws are part of what make you unique you and beautiful. Being aware of and accepting your vulnerability is powerful and the only road to a stronger, brighter One You.
10. Take time to take care of you in mind, body, and spirit
Live a holistc lifestyle in mind, body and spirit for the One You to be whole.
For more than 5,000 years, the Vedic masters of India have taught that our essential nature is infinite, whole, and eternal.
We have an innate desire to grow, seek self-development and create a healthy and fulfilled life.
To fully experience the gifts of your uniqueness, you need to embrace a holistic understanding of life that considers your whole person. The mind, body, and spirit.
Just as the planet’s ecosystems are interdependent, the physical, mental, and spiritual aspects of your lives are intimately connected.
When one system is out of balance, it affects the functioning of the whole. And the One You cannot function and flourish as it is meant to be.
From this holistic perspective, health isn’t merely the absence of illness or symptoms and fitness is not just one work-out at the gym or a number on the scale: it’s a higher state of consciousness that allows vitality, wellbeing, creativity, and joy to flow into your experience.
As you shift into this higher awareness, you get enlightened to the fact that you are not only your bodies, your possessions, your titles, your circumstances or your relationships.
You are not just a human doing, rushing through to do lists and overcommitted calendars.
You are on this wonderful planet earth to live, not merely to survive and exist.
You are a human being and a spiritual being which natural state is wholeness.
My passionate purpose is to spark light in your soul to let the One You blossom and live life fully and holistically. And I hope this post contributed to inspire you in the beautiful journey of life!